High Risk Pregnancy · Pregnancy · Rainbow Pregnancy · Third Trimester

Things Are Starting to Move

I and got my 38 week appointment today at 38+2. They weren’t going to do a cervical check because I haven’t really had any labor symptoms besides some random hicks and tiny pieces of mucus plug coming off. I asked them to check since I live an hour away, haven’t been checked yet, and you know… That whole short cervix thing. I mean I was only at 1.5cm long at my last ultra sound at 28 weeks. Who knows how short that thing is now!! Having an estimate at least gives me an idea of what I have to work with when labor does come on, though my doctor told me not to wait until the normal 5-7 minutes apart and to head in around 10 instead. 

Well when she checked her eyes got big and she looked at me and said “you really haven’t felt anything?” “Uh nope. Sorry ma’am.” Apparently I’m at 3cm and 70% effaced. 

She did a “slight” membrane sweep (idk what makes a membrane sweep and more or less extensive, if anything) and said she wouldn’t expect me to make it a week, but you never know. She also had a big grin and said “I’m on call tomorrow. That could be fun!” So she clearly isn’t expecting me to make it much longer. I love her enthusiasm though. She seems to genuinely love her job and was very excited about the possibility of delivering a baby. 

Since then I’ve definitely felt stronger, though not yet regular contractions and I just lost a decent size piece of mucus plug. I know these could still mean nothing but I just have a feeling that it isn’t going to be long. Maybe that’s her enthusiasm rubbing off on me. 

Also I am finally nervous. I’ve been waiting to get nervous but haven’t really. I guess I just needed it to become much more real. I’m nervous about the pain, about taking care of a real live human being when I’ve really only just learned how to take care of myself, of being a giant disappointment to my child, and of bringing a person up in a world that isn’t always that great to be in. At the same time though I’m very excited and I look at all of these as challenges I can beat, and I am a very competitive person. So hopefully looking at them that way will make me want to beat them just to prove I can.

Regardless of nerves or excitement I am so very ready to meet my tiny little boy!! Here’s to hoping it is soon! 

Edit: sorry for shitty phone posts. I’ll go back and edit via computer once I get time.

One thought on “Things Are Starting to Move

  1. Oh my gosh I’m so excited for you!! You’ll be a great mom, so wipe that disappointment talk out of your vocabulary. Just the fact that you’re even worried about it means (to me) you’ll be great. Plus you’ve wanted this for so long and have been through so much to get here. Good luck and here’s to a quick and healthy delivery!

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